Listen to the once in a lifetime story of...
flog
The following is a year by year life story of one of the greatest CSGO 2 players Narre Warren Nth has ever seen.
flog, this is your life...
Year 0
"They have taken you from the imperial cities prison, first by carriage and now by boat. To the east, to Morrowind. Fear not, for I am watchful. You have been chosen."
Year 1
"Wake up, we're here. Why are you shaking? Are you okay? Wake up, stand up... there you go. You were dreaming. What's your name?"
Year 2
"flog... my name is... flog"
Year 3
After completing the tutorial, flog now understood the basic controls. Walking, sprinting, sippy cup angles of entry and strafing in a nappy were all now amongst his skill set. He had also read dummies for dummies 14 times, shocking the other toddlers at the Middle Hotel kids gaming area.
Year 4
Smoking and gaming became life for flog in his formative years. Quoting his mother Janine "Who? Rory? Yeah he was such a happy kid. Whenever he came in the room, everyone would light up. He's always been like that. We tried to ween him off the cigs but he would make pistol hands and then bullet time would happen. You can't catch someone in bullet time."
Year 5
At 5 years old flog had finished the Super Nintendo, a seemingly impossible feat. His attention was now almost completely put into Green Days 1994 album Dookie, flog started to transition into the front man. This concerned his parents who were quoted at the time as saying "If he would just put down the mascara and pick up the controller again, we would be so happy."
Year 6
flog finally went outside at 6 years old and discovered that there was a whole world out there. But unfortunately had a terrible accident in a wheat field that left him unable to move. The foreshadowing of this accident involving wheat would impact him later on in his life, alongside his inability to leave the couch, which led to his inevitable gaming addiction.
Year 7
It's 1999. flog is housebound, his wheat riddled body barely able to convert the gluten in his Pepsi filled belly. And then it happened, the game Age of Empires is released. And flog did not sleep until he had finished the entire game.
Year 8
It's the year 2000. Y2K and ... Couter-Strike.
Year 9
After several failed attempts to rope the neighborhood low-life Uncle Dad into joining Counter-Strike, flog settled for lesser friends. Friends who still pathetically dot the ian Party landscape to this day. At 8 years old, flog started to really hone his skill, and people loved to have him as a team mate.
Year 10
It's 2002, and flog was in the top 4,000 Counter-Strike players in Ferntree Gully. Struggling to come to terms with the realization that he couldn't carry the absolute jokes, or as they called themselves 'friends', flog decided to visit the neighborhood low-life Uncle Dad once again. It was here that flog was weened of the cigs and Counter-Strike and was introduced to green tea and Heroes of Might and Magic IV.
Year 11
After Uncle Dad played flog a song that he had written on his guitar, flog decided to leave immediately and thought he may never speak to him again. He ran back to his old friend Schroomz, who welcomed him back with open arms...
Year 12
... and a year later his friend Pure...
Year 13
Schroomz, the man who took this photo, was at the time equally as zoolanderish.
Year 14
It was at 15 years old that flog had his first beer. Scared of getting drunk and passing out and hitting his head, he requested a helmet.
Year 15
Turns out he was just allergic to gluten
Year 16
flog tried everything to be successful at Counter-Strike. After seeing a witch, she suggested that he act out how success would feel. It took until 2009 for him to convince his family to let him back in the house.
Year 17
flog began remembering when he had won the Super Nintendo. He realized that winning back then when he was only 5 was not because of friends he met along the way, or brothers he made cry after ExciteBiking their dreams into oblivion, but actually just the complete and total domination of other people. So, once his family had let him back into the house, flog decided to start making total domination his number goal once he finally turned 18.
Year 18
At 18 years old flog put his dreams on hold.
Year 19
At 19 flog would only play Counter-Strike in Lan cafes for wristy's.
Year 20
It got temporarily worse.
Year 21
When someone hit flog in the face with a plate of gluten. It was a wake up call, flog decided only a trip away from everything would help him find himself.
Year 22
It's 2014 and flog decided to travel with Schroomz to Bali, he bought himself a swim cap as it was suggested he tackle the locals 'head on'.
Year 23
After taking bribe money from a Thai hooker to bring her back in his on board luggage. flog had 1,200 Baht to play with. Getting drunk at the airport and missing his return flight, flog returned to the Thai bars and enjoyed luxury cigars and lived the good life for a short time. (He forgot about his luggage and the lady was never found.)
Year 24
After the Thai mishap, flog got a taste for the 'good life'. He had strayed from Counter-Strike for 7 years now, spending most of his time at gyms. He loved the tanning beds and mirrors the most.
Year 25
After getting jacked, flog wore chains and made gains. His head had began to grow with such muscle, that it would grow away from his face. His Counter-Strike friends missed him, and cautioned him on his Insta that steroid use was a bad idea.
Year 26
After 2 years of heavy use, with the help of a long lost friend
Uncle Dad, flog admitted himself to treatment. Working out the hard way that the steroids were not gluten free, and most of his gains were just his body swelling from the bad reaction.
Year 27
Finally having nothing chemical in his body but Uncle Dad's green tea. flog switched on his computer and the sweet glow of Counter-Stike blew its juicy light all over his face and dribbled down his chin once again.
Year 28
flog began taking it seriously...
Year 29
flog began taking it really seriously...
Year 30
... and even more seriously...
Year 31
Everyone lined up to play with him, Uncle Dad, Schroomz, Krave, Dreaded Smoker, Dermot, LeighXcore, ReapeR, Pure, COMBAT WOMBAT. Everyone adored his talent.
Year 32
Legend
flog Clips
Who is flog?
#1 ranked Leetify player leading up to the 2024 August ian Party.
Can use any weapon.
Never gives up.
Raises morale.
Entry fragger.
Lurker.
Leetify-
Leads all stats.
Natural born leader, self taught killer. He always buys a kit. Hates grumpy people, loves cinnamon flavored whiskey and the special Olympics.
Can't use any difficult guns like the R8, AUG, G3SG1, Scar-20, SG553, Nova or M249.
Racist.
Leetify-
Can't play Dust 2.